Johanna woke just as the sun was setting, jolted out of bed due to a nightmare she was having that left her filled with an emptiness so intense that it took her a moment to catch her breath. The small child reappeared in her dreams for the first time since her admittance to the hospital. The little boy was crying and looking around for something, or someone.
For the first time, she noticed he had the same dark hair and smooth complexion as she had. She tried to reach him, but he just kept moving further and further away. There were other people in this dream, not just the child, strange men that she didn’t recognize. The men in the dream were laughing while she was crying out for the child as he disappeared from her view.
Johanna lived her life in seclusion and fear, only thirty or so kilometers from the hospital that saved her life. She was so very tired of the daily pain, the mood swings of pure elation to the devastating terror that paralyzed her and prevented her from living a normal life.
Johanna decided to try and end the pain, again, and took a handful of Xanax with half a bottle of nighttime cough medicine, then picked up her cold, steel gun from under the mattress in her dark, mostly empty, apartment.